2018 Reflections: 6 Life-Changing Lessons
On this last day of 2018, I am sitting at a beach house in Bali, looking out over an expansive turquoise sea and amazed at how much and how little has changed in a year. I thought I’d take some time today to reflect on the six biggest lessons I’ve learned over the last year.
Mindset Matters
I learned that I had a fixed mindset which was preventing me from trying new things because I had become conditioned only to attempt what I felt confident I would succeed at. It was after reading the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, that I finally got the courage and motivation to start this blog. I learned that we are not limited to the skills that we’ve already honed up to this point, but that with effort, we can develop and master new skills at any time.I now try to approach everything in my life with a growth mindset. To me that means catching myself when I think these thoughts:
- I’m not good at that
- I’m not that sort of person
- I don’t think I can
And when I have these thoughts, I stop and acknowledge that they are self-limiting beliefs that I can change if I want to. This, like so many other things, takes practice and this is a practice I intend to carry with me through 2019 and hopefully for a lifetime.
Detours Are Part of the Journey
Our lives are not intended to be lived in a straight line. There are many twists and turns along the way, and it’s how we work through those divergences that matter. In the end, I believe we’re all moving towards the same thing: unity with the divine. Whether you refer to the divine as God, Goddess, The Universe, Source Energy, or any other name, I believe that each life we live is about learning lessons such as patience, compassion, and unconditional love, that help our souls evolve and move us closer to that reunification.I took a lot of detours over the past few years and now, going into 2019, I feel confident about the path that I am on. Yes, more twists and turns are inevitable, but my footing is so much stronger now as a result of all I’ve learned thus far.
The Guidance We Seek Lies Within Us
I finally learned, and I mean really learned, that joy and fulfillment do not exist outside of ourselves. Seeking happiness through that which is external - other people, material goods, life circumstances, job titles, etc. - is always futile. Why? Because everything changes and if we attach our happiness to something outside of us and it changes (which is almost always out of our control), we risk losing our happiness (this is the Buddhist philosophy on attachment and suffering).So then how do we find happiness? By listening to our intuition, otherwise known as our higher self. Our intuition exists to guide us to the things we know we need, even when we don’t know we need them. And when we follow our intuition or guidance from our higher self, we realize that we can not only get through anything, but we can be incredibly happy and prosperous no matter what life throws at us.Also (and this is really important) when we choose to ignore our intuition, we create a lot of unnecessary hardship for ourselves. We’ll find ourselves in difficult situations, recalling that we told ourselves we should have chosen differently. Trust your intuition; nothing loves you more than it does.To learn how to develop your intuition, I recommend The Intuitive Way: The Definitive Guide to Increasing Your Awareness by Penney Pierce (also available on Audible).
Act From a Place of Love, Not Fear
If the intuition represents our higher self, then ego represents our lower self. By “lower,” I don’t mean worse; I mean that it represents the part of ourselves that is constantly seeking safety and belonging at any cost. Our ego is like a guard dog on ADHD. It is quick to try to protect us when we don’t actually need protection, and it is continually looking at the world around it to find any new potential threats.For example, my ego used to tell me that I was in competition with other women I worked with. I subconsciously believed that we were all going after the same promotions and the same opportunities and that only the best of us would make it to the top. I never tried to make anyone look bad to get ahead, but because of my ego-driven fear, I also lost out on some opportunities to make some great friends early on in my career. Once I realized that there was room for all of us to succeed, I kicked my ego to curb in this area of my life and developed some amazing relationships with women who have not only become good friends but have helped me in my career.Our intuition guides us from a place of love, and our ego guides us from a place of fear. This is not to say we should all work to kill our egos, but instead, recognize when one or the other is driving our decisions. When we act from love, we can create amazing things in our lives. Gary Zukav calls this "Authentic Power," and I plan to be authentically powerful in 2019. Read more about it in his book, Seat of the Soul, a book I've read three times already (also available on Audible).
The Universe Speaks To Us Through Stillness and Silence
This summer I went to Barcelona for a 5-day silent meditation retreat. In addition to not speaking during the retreat, our teachers asked that we refrain from reading, using electronic devices, and even from eye contact with the other participants. This was all an attempt to simulate a solitary meditation journey. It was challenging to say the least, but it was incredibly eye-opening as well (read more about my experience here).The main question that we were asked to focus on during our stay was, “Who am I?” As we sat in meditation for hours at a time, we were to return to this central question if we got distracted. What came to me were all sorts of answers I hadn’t been expecting.Since then, I’ve learned that when I sit in meditation, amazing insights and answers show up. Sometimes they’re answers to specific questions I’ve been asking, and other times, they are ideas or inspiration or affirmations that I wasn’t looking for but ultimately needed. It’s like having a Wizard of Oz in your brain, telling you the essential truths you need to hear. With respect to this lesson, my #1 goal for 2019 is to establish and maintain a daily meditation practice. Through this, I hope to raise my frequency and strengthen my connection to the universal field of intelligence.
Be Here Now > Balance
While I’ve learned a lot about myself and about new ways of moving through this world, I also learned that for me, walking down a spiritual path must be balanced with some fun and frivolity. I want peacefulness, but I also want adventure. I crave quiet moments but also need evenings of uproarious laughter. I’ve been trying to find a balance in that but have learned that it will never be 50/50.Instead, I realized that what is most important is to be here now. If we live in the present moment, not reliving the past or guessing what the future might hold, we will inevitably find balance. But when we are in a quiet moment and wishing for laughter, or when we are in a loud and crowded bar but yearning for a meditation pillow, we are missing out on what is right in front of us.If we live in the present moment, the balance will work itself out in the end. And who knows, it may be an even better balance than I could’ve achieved by attempting to control it.
Looking Ahead…
As I look ahead and think about what next year will bring, I’m filled with excitement. For me, 2018 was a year of reshaping: reshaping my mindset, reshaping my decision making, and reshaping my outlook on life. Next year will be all about creation.To follow along on my journey and see what I'm creating, subscribe below to be notified of new blog posts and join me on Instagram @lotuspathway.
Thank You
It’s my deepest wish that this post has provided you with some things to think about and perhaps even the inspiration to make a small change in your life. I am always eager to hear your thoughts so please leave any feedback you have in the comments below.With gratitude,Bindi