3 Unexpected Lessons from Bali
The Behind-the-Scenes Story of My 2-Week Solo Trip
I spent two weeks in Bali over the holidays and because it was my second trip to the island, I sort of knew what to expect. But what I learned during this trip was not at all what I expected.
Sure I had a great time and took some fantastic pictures (which I've been posting and will continue to post to Instagram), but the lessons I took away from this experienc were the most memorable part of the trip.
1) Solo travel begins with Unbecoming
The first few days of my Bali trip were spent missing home. After having left the hustle of LA, the stress of my full-time job, and the comforts of my home, I was surprised to find myself wishing for all of those familiar things. I recognized it as simple homesickness and remembered that I had intentionally taken a two-week vacation to get away from all of that. Nonetheless, as soon as those things were gone I missed them.
My first few days were spent in Ubud at Wapa di Ume, a beautiful and quiet resort set amidst the rice paddies of Ubud in central Bali. The room was perfect: bright, expansive, and luxurious. My balcony overlooked a small patch of rainforest with a rumbling stream running through it. But as beautiful as my surroundings were, I felt something was off.
I wanted to sleep constantly. Not just the normal recover-from-jet-lag amount of sleep, but like 70% of the day. I desperately wanted to be alone. The thought of being surrounded by throngs of tourists meant that I had no interest in wandering through the tiny, bustling streets of Ubud central, strewn with equal numbers of Hindu temples and millennial-owned boutiques and cafes.
I don’t think it was until a few days later when I left Ubud and made my way to Canggu, the hottest spot in Bali right now, that I had an epiphany.
I spent the first third of my vacation releasing all the energy I was holding in my body from my life in LA.
The sleep, the disinterest in exploring, the frustration with missing home - all of it was negative or stagnant energy that needed to be released. My process of letting go was apparently to do nothing; to spend my days meditating, napping, reading, and just being.
To be clear, I did go on a couple of day trips, one to the Bali Swing and one to Eastern Bali. But to be perfectly honest, most of those hours were spent wishing I was napping instead.
2) Expectations are the seeds of suffering
I went to Bali expecting to feel adventurous and glamorous and what I felt instead was a little lost and sort of like a wannabe. One of my main goals was to get some great photos (which I did) but I also thought I’d be more social while I was there. I sort of expected that I’d meet other bloggers along the way, or connect with like-minded young professionals visiting Bali from all over the world.
I didn’t actually meet anyone though. The only people I talked to were my tour guides and the wonderful staff at the resorts and Airbnbs I stayed at. Most of my conversations were via a WhatsApp phone call with my husband Mark.
I almost met up with a wonderful person I'd recently met on Instagram but unfortunately, our schedules didn’t line up and it didn’t happen. I went to the popular cafes and beach clubs in Ubud and Canggu, trying to look casual but secretly waiting for someone to walk up and introduce themselves. But no one did, and I didn’t introduce myself to anyone either. I had an energy of solitude and that signal was being sent out far and wide.
My aura said “PLEASE DON'T BOTHER ME,” even though my mind was saying, “HI! LET’S BE FRIENDS!” to everyone that walked by.
This mismatch between my expectations of what Bali would be like and what actually happened resulted in disappointment. The vision I had in my mind was the Instagram-version of the trip, but in retrospect what happened instead was exactly what I needed.
I didn’t need to meet other bloggers or young professionals on this trip. It turned out that what I needed was to be alone and get some distance from my normal life.
The reason I booked a two-week solo trip was that, subconsciously, I knew I needed to get away and not just for a long weekend. I needed to unwind. I needed to release and
3) Creativity lands when and where you create space for it
One of my main goals for the trip was to have time and space to write more for my blog. But for the entire first week in Bali, I wrote absolutely nothing. I read a lot, sure, but couldn't bring myself to get a blog post or guide written.
I didn't start writing until I left Ubud a week after arriving and made my way to the coast. My first stop was Canggu which I liken to the Venice Beach of Southeast Asia with its cute cafes and relaxing beach clubs everywhere. I was only there one night, but I could start to feel my energy change.
The next day, I traveled another hour and a half south to Bingin Beach, famous for its surf but with fewer tourists than nearby Kuta. I rented a room at Mama TomTom’s Beach House, a "vintage" looking beach house with three levels and about five guest rooms. I remember when I first saw the Airbnb listing, I knew I needed to stay there. I hesitated initially because the accommodations were more rustic than the other places I was staying (Wapa di Ume in Ubud and the Radisson Blu in Uluwatu), but I felt a strong pull that I needed to stay there.
The beach house was magical. Rustic, yes (you had to keep the attached open-air bathroom locked at all times to prevent the neighborhood monkeys from coming into your room) but gorgeous. It was right on the water (literally, the waves come up to the foundation at high tide) and you could see nothing but ocean to either side.
After one night there, I grabbed a spot on one of the shared daybeds, settled in with my laptop, notebook, pen, and books. I started reading and then suddenly an idea popped into my mind. I quickly wrote it down in my notebook. And then more ideas started coming through. My hand couldn’t keep up.
For the next three days, the inspiration was flowing through my mind like a swelling river. I was so excited and energized that I barely took any breaks to eat or swim; I had to get it all down on paper. About halfway through my stay at the beach, I realized the lessons I am now sharing with you.
I needed to release my old way of being (unbecoming) and I needed to let go of my expectations before what I needed could I arrive, and what I was waiting for was a flood of inspiration.
That’s why I went to Bali, even though I didn’t know it when I booked the trip.
I needed to understand that creativity and inspiration can only arrive when you open up a place for it to land.
Carrying these lessons forward
Because of what I learned from my two weeks in Bali, I know that I need to hold those lessons close as I move through the days of my "normal" life.
- I need to pay attention to when I’ve inadvertently removed the space for creativity by getting too busy or becoming too preoccupied with everyday life.
- Feelings of negativity are typically signs of resistance to what needs to come; take this as a sign to do some clearing.
- I don't need to travel halfway around the world to release stagnant and negative energy; I can accomplish in any number of ways such as a daily meditation and energy clearing (I use an obsidian pendulum for this) or with a weekly sage cleansing.
To be fair, I will probably still use travel to help me with this because hey, who doesn't love to get away every once in a while? In fact, I'm super excited to be heading to Kauai in a couple of weeks!
With gratitude...
It’s my deepest wish that this post has provided you with some things to think about and perhaps even the inspiration to make a small change in your life. I am always eager to hear your thoughts so please leave any feedback you have in the comments below.
With gratitude,
